You're never quite sure what Premier Dad McGuinty will ban next.
He has odd priorities.
His government has banned weed killers, pit bulls, flavoured cigars and introduced antismoking legislation so restrictive that pensioners freeze to death outside old folks' homes trying to have a smoke.
Premier Dad tried to ban the Lord's Prayer in the legislature -- yet he caved on the mixed martial arts and online gambling. Now fighters can thump each other on the head with impunity and can soon gamble the family's life savings on the Internet.
But they cracked down on what food you can serve at those wicked church potlucks.
This is the same government that proposed a sex education curriculum that would have eight-year-olds discussing penises and vulvas -- while at the same time checking those kids' lunch boxes to make sure they weren't drinking too much chocolate milk.
It was Premier Dad who suggested it might be a good idea to allow cellphones in the classroom. Meanwhile, the government tried to ban young drivers from giving their friends lifts in their cars.
But the Double Down?
Look, the KFC sandwich certainly sounds defibrillatingly good. It's a heartstopping 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1,380 mgs of sodium. Two pieces of chicken. Two slices of bacon. Two slices of cheese.
Mmm. Mmm. Perhaps the government should ban anything with that delicious-yet-deadly combination of bacon and cheese.
How about that great Scottish delicacy, the deep-fried Mars Bar? Waaaay too delicious for us.
Gone, in Premier Dad's Ontario. What's next? Banana splits?
Late Tuesday afternoon, Health Promotion Minister Margarett Best's office put out this notice:
"I wish to reiterate that there are no plans to review the availability of any food products in Ontario. Consumers have the right to choose the food they wish to purchase."
Well, that's not what the dozen or so reporters who were listening to her words heard. They came to the conclusion the government was considering taking action.
This all shows the government's sensitivity to the whole "Premier Dad" labelling.
The question came up when Best talked to reporters about the latest report from the Tobacco Strategy Advisory Group. That group released recommendations for the next phase of the Smoke Free Ontario strategy.
The group suggests a gradual ban on smoking in apartment buildings. Under the proposed strategy, as new tenants rent units in a building, they would sign non-smoking leases.
Best said the government was not looking at any further changes to the smoking legislation. They won't move to protect children from second-hand smoke in apartment buildings -- a clear signal they want to move away from their control-freak image.
There's massive hypocrisy in the government's crackdown on smoking.
Contraband cigarettes, especially those produced illegally on First Nations reserves and then sold in smoke shacks off reserves, are a huge source of smokes for young people.
Yet the government has done little to crack down on them. Anyone who has ever visited a reserve knows the smoking rate among aboriginal young people is shockingly high. Again, there's little effort to stop that.
Yet this is the government that tried to stamp out the evil of sushi.
It's enough to drive you to drink.
Think I'll stop by a patio on my way home, light up a smoke and chow down on a big, fat Double Down.
Mmmm. Just don't tell Premier Dad.
christina.blizzard@sunmedia.ca